Are you at your wits end? Do you feel like your past self was nuts by saying yes to helping volunteer at the kid’s fun run and the community garden while also leading a project at work and starting a new workout routine? Do you feel like you arrive at your Monday feeling like you could sleep a thousand years?

A 2018 UK study noted that approximately 75% of people were walking around with generalized stress. Now lets fast forward 5 years, a pandemic, a war, and some economic insecurity later…are we having fun yet? Many of us are walking around carrying overwhelm and stress in our back pockets. Worried where to best use our time, whom to give our time to, and will there be enough resources to make it.

How does this show up for you? Missing sleep or funky sleep hygiene?… think binge watching Hulu until 1:30AM…or hitting ye old snooze button like… 5 times? Maybe you’re feeling less patient with your family or coworkers. Do you find yourself getting extra short with a co-worker about “that email” or getting (maybe) overly mad about “those shoes” in the living room? These, to name a few, are signs that we have passed over our threshold and are maxed out. These are signs that we may be busy with too many good things.

We’re officially overwhelmed!

Take a break? Are you kidding me? You might be thinking “How the heck do I make more hours in the day?” Well, we cannot. Unless, of course, you and your bestie have figured out time travel…in which case, hook me up!! Knowing that we can’t always push pause, how CAN you restructure your day or week in small ways that lighten the load? Just remember you cannot make too many changes at once. That’s a great way to stress yourself out even more. No. Thank. You.

Overwhelm and stress are a combination of internal dialogue and external variables. There will always be slow drives in traffic, distracted kids, challenging coworkers, and the like. We cannot change how others think, feel, or behave. And, we can choose how we react. We can choose how to respond. Pausing a moment to relax how we’re showing up to a given situation is key, too. Am I showing up to that meeting with a challenging coworker tired, having had an argument with my partner? Have I eaten? How was my sleep? Did I sleep? All of these factors can affect how we show up to situations big or small.

Ok, so you can’t cancel your whole week or drop the ball and that’s not what I’m suggesting. And, can you look ahead on your schedule and see where you can do a little cleaning up? Here are 5 Tips you can add into your next week or two…and carry into your future planning.

1) What can be canceled? You may be thinking, “I can’t cancel plans. That’s not polite.” And yes, if you have been flakey with volunteering or with friends, maybe make that bake sale or birthday dinner a priority. And mostly, people understand the struggle of being overbooked. So if you look at your week and go, “Hey, my bestie may be ok with canceling our walk and I’ll see if they want to watch a movie in PJ’s instead. “ If you’ve been helping out with your kids school or with a local organization, maybe talk to your team and ask when would be a good time to opt out, just a little, so you can rest. I find when we share that we’re stressed and need some space and time our people are more than willing to accommodate. Look out a few weeks on your schedule, too. What might be less vital to participate in…maybe skip that 5k so you can have a low key morning at home.

2) Where can I block out me time? Just like the above noted, look at your week and out a few weeks on your schedule. Where are there gaps? Monday from 3-5pm? Saturday from 8am-10am? Literally block them out with a note. “Me Time” or “Self Care” or “Rest”. Whatever word reminds you to nurture yourself. If you can set it as reoccurring, even better. So when Terry from Financing says, “Are you available for golf Saturday morning?” you look at your schedule and see your “Me Time” block and say, “Thanks for the invite Terry but I’m not available” unless you really want to and it feels sustainable, then absolutely, go for it! Then it will fill your cup vs wear you out. And if Terry gets nosey and say’s, “Oh what are you doing instead?” Simply say, “ I have an appointment.” Or just be frank and encourage others to set “me time” aside for them by being honest and sharing that you’re leaving that time unscheduled to arrive and see how you feel.

3) Where can I ask for some help? Do you feel like as an adult you should just pull yourselves up by your boot straps? You’re not alone. And this mindset sadly can be toxic to our health. Humans are pack animals. We depend on support and help on a macro and micro level. Seriously. When we help others and allow others to help us it reduces stress in our bodies, and helps our mental health. Look at your month and find a place or activity you could use some help. Maybe ask that same bestie to join you while you conquer the garage, and play music and make it fun. Or talk to a friend or family member and see if they can walk the dog for you or watch the kids for one or two hours so you can take a walk or be alone for a little bit. We love to be of service and help. Allow those around the same gift of giving—you may find you like it.

4) What self-care can I fit into my week? When you think about self care do you think, “spa day” or “vacation”? While those are splendid ideas I encourage you to rethink self care. Self care can be sitting and coloring in a coloring book, a longer shower or bath, a walk around the block, or a phone chat with a friend. Filling your cup your way is important. Doing what you like refreshes you. For some people self-care is cooking a hot meal. Another person loves a crime show. Whatever YOUR thing is, fit a little joy into your week. Sometimes just staring at a tree for 10 minutes can do wonders for mental health and offer ourselves a moment to check in with ourselves.

5) How can I be gentle with myself? Do you speak critically to yourself? Things like, “Geez, pick up the pace!” “I can’t believe I slept in, I’m so lazy.” “I’m the worst, I took a bath and ignored the family!” We can all get caught in a loop of negative self talk. We’re encouraged to be so productive that unless we’re slaying at all the things all the time (think Instagram perfect reel life) we’re some how not living up to our potential. What if we reframed our mindset about productivity? What if we said, “Rest is productive. Rest allows me to kick-butt at work and at home!” And what if we allowed our gentle voice that is there for friends and families came out to visit our own selves. We can be so compassionate with others. Play around with saying gentle and kind things to yourself. “I am enough.” “I do enough.” “I am wonderful.” “I am am worthy of kindness.” Offering ourselves gentleness can help reduce stress in our minds and bodies. And when we practice this with regularity we find we are more inclined to have grace with others on regular basis.

Obviously none of these are going to vanish our stress and overwhelm or fix all of our problems. And it’s our hope that you can borrow one or two or all five suggestions to reframe how you schedule your time and show up for your own life.

May you offer yourself some rest on this busy road of life! You’re worth it!