Feel like you're struggling to make lasting change that improves your life?

Read on for some tips for a better year ahead

For many people, as we inch closer to a new year it is a time to reflect on how the past year went as well as a time to set your sights on how you want the future to be. This can be seen in the time-honored, ubiquitous, and, loved-to-be-hated, New Year’s resolution. The problem is that a lot of us hit the ground running with grandiose ideas and little supporting framework to actually achieve these resolutions. They are often intangible dreams like “get in the best shape of my life,” or “focus on my happiness.” Resolutions are often the things we think we should do, with little passion or motivation behind them. I “should” eat better, but that isn’t enough of an impetus to convince me to make changes to my food habits. I “should” start writing that book, but … In order for real, actionable change to occur, you have to go about assessing and prioritizing your goals a little bit differently.

On a related note, who the hell says you SHOULD be doing anything anyway? One of our favorite phrases around here is “Don’t should on yourself!” Sit with it for a moment. Let it marinate. Maybe what you “should” be doing is softening, being kind to yourself, and chilling the fuck out with the perpetual striving for a change. The only person who decides what you should or shouldn’t be doing, is you.

Only 8% of all New Year's Resolutions are accomplished, and 80% are abandoned by the beginning of February.

For a goal to be a success, four key ingredients must be present: intention, passion, self-discipline, and self-compassion. Before you decide on a goal, knowing why you are pursuing it is important. If your goal is to get in shape, why? If the only reason why is because it’s the new year, chances are it won’t be a success. I find that journaling is a form of self-reflection that can be really important when discovering the intention behind a new goal. Ask yourself the following questions:

Is this important to me? Am I passionate about it?
Who benefits from me accomplishing this goal? If you can’t identify who benefits, be it yourself or your loved ones, then why put effort into achieving it?
Is this goal/resolution aligned with my personal values? Not sure what your personal values are? We have an excellent blog post on discovering your core values. You can read it here.
How will I be accountable for continuing toward my goal? Accountability can be incredibly difficult when setting goals for yourself. Having a friend or family member who can check in with you on your goal can help you stay on course.
How will I support myself when I veer off course? Every newly formed habit or goal has obstacles. When you stumble, will you give up and shame yourself? What plan or affirmations can you create when you begin to veer off course? Stumbles are 100% expected—just have a plan for when they arise.
What do I envision the future looking like after I accomplish this goal? If your vision for the future post-goal looks like the saccharine ending to a fairy tale, you're putting too much stock into your resolution. This can lead to heartbreak and negative self-talk when it never comes to fruition.

Once you’ve established why you want to set this goal, how you create and go about achieving it is just as important. Remember, if you don’t build the right foundation for your goal, it will stand on shaky ground.

One reason why many New Year’s Resolutions and goals fail is that they are too vague.

How do you know when you have reached your goal when your resolution is to “be in the best shape of your life?” A tactic that is used in the business world may be of benefit to you in your personal life— SMART goals:

Specific: “Get in shape” isn’t specific. Instead, try “Run a 10k by the end of the year” or “Walk up the hill by my house without stopping.”
Measurable: Have a goal that has a clearly defined success point. How exactly will you know once you have achieved your goal?
Achievable: Is it something that is within your capacity to achieve?
Realistic: If your goal is to start getting in shape, don’t tell yourself you’ll make it into the Olympics.
Time-Sensitive: What is your deadline or timeframe? Is there a specific event you want to be prepared for?

When we apply the SMART tactic to goal setting, our example of “getting in the best shape of my life” might begin to look something more like “Be able to run 2 5k races by the end of summer.” It’s more specific, it has a measurable component, and a timeline. It isn’t a pie in the sky dream, but it also isn’t so easy that you don’t have to break it into smaller digestible steps.

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Breaking larger goals into smaller bits can help things become more achievable over a longer span of time. When you are looking at setting goals for an entire year, it can be overwhelming knowing where to begin. If running two 5ks by summer seems insurmountable, break it down into smaller, more attainable bits. Maybe, before anything, you have to buy new running shoes. Then, start by running around the block, and gradually increase until you are running whole miles. By breaking your large goal into small chunks, it becomes less daunting and more inspiring. Working backward from your deadline can also help you determine what benchmarks need to happen throughout the course of the year. If you sign up for a 5k in August, what needs to happen by July? By March? Tomorrow? And BE SURE to celebrate along the way! We so easily ignore small achievements because we feel as if there’s so much further to go. Even one small step toward growth is still a step in the right direction.